Canine Good Citizen
by Destiny Lockheart
Summary: Fai reflects on whether or not Kurogane meets the requirements of the Canine Good Citizen test.


Disclaimer: I own none of this, only Kurogane and Fai plushies that make out on my bed.

This is what happens when I'm supposed to be doing research on pet therapy.

Takes place before Tsubasa 112.

Rated: For Kurogane's language and very, very vague KuroxFai references.

* * *

Fai found the current world's technology to be both fascinating and enlightening, especially the box their host had called a "computer" which he said was connected to an electronic library he had called the "in-tra-net." Or something like that; while he had been finishing his explanation, Fai had already been busy pushing buttons on the box trying to figure out how to make it do his bidding, which was the only thing he had caught in the man's explanation of what the contraption did. 

Two hours later, he was fairly certain he figured out how the machine worked, so long as his "bidding" was gathering information. Syaoran suggested he use it to try to get information about Sakura's feather, but as soon as the boy was gone he moved to other search topics. After a while he started searching about dogs, for no other reason than Kurogane was brooding on the other side of the room.

After twenty minutes of finding nothing that even remotely resembled Kurogane (exactly what was this country's idea of a dog anyway?), Fai found something which instantly caught his attention. With a smirk over his shoulder at the other man who remained oblivious enveloped in his black mist of "stay the hell away from me," Fai determined to learn more about this "American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen test." He was anxious to see how many of the requirements Kuro-wanwan had demonstrated satisfactorily.

_Accepting a friendly stranger._

Looking up at the ceiling and tapping his pencil against his lower lip, Fai thought back to the time he first met Kuro-pyon. He had been a friendly stranger. If he remembered correctly, he had been extremely friendly, especially in the evening when they had been given their own room and they were alone together. He had been very friendly to Kuro-pipi then; he was probably the friendliest stranger Kurogane would ever meet.

And how had Kurogane responded to his friendliness? Yelled at him for being a weirdo and roughly pushed him off and away from him. Fai sighed. All he had wanted was to show Kurogane how friendly and harmless he was, and he hadn't even been bitten in response, just barked at and rudely pushed away. Life could be so unfair.

"He's definitely not good at that," Fai said, and tried to cross it off the list. For some reason, the pencil didn't seem to make a mark. The words still glowed perfectly from the box. Fai shrugged and tossed the pencil over his shoulder, ignoring the growl that immediately followed.

_Sitting politely for petting._

He could think of several instances other than when he was trying to show Kurogane how friendly he was that the ninja had violated that guideline. There had been the time in Yamana right after they had been reunited with Syaoran. Kuro-chan had pulled his sword on him that time. Thinking about it, he had pulled his sword on him in Outo, too.

Fai looked back at Kurogane who for some unknown reason was glowering at him. Maybe if it tried it again now in private with the kids gone…

Fai shook his head and turned his attention back to the box. No, sadly, Kurogane had never sat politely for petting, and Fai was beginning to think he never would. Not for him at least.

_Allowing basic grooming procedures._

For some reason, Kuro-pipi had always refused Fai's offer of bathing him claiming he was quite capable of taking care of it himself. Fai knew what wasn't true, because every so often he caught a stench he just knew was coming from Kurogane's poor hygiene and occasionally he would spend as much time as he could in the bathroom waiting for Kurogane to show up and he never did.

Obviously the man did not know the meaning of basic grooming procedures. He wouldn't even go see a doctor when he was injured, no matter how much Fai had tried, and he was fairly certain that Tomoyo had tried as well.

_Walking on a loose lead._

Kuro-chan did have a tendency to go wandering off if people weren't watching him closely enough. He was convinced it was all Kuro-chan's fault every time they got separated from the kids. He had repeatedly told Syaoran that he needed to keep Kuro-wanwan on a stronger lead because Fai wasn't physically strong enough to control him on his own.

Of course, Syaoran had insensitively refused to help him put the collar and leash on Kurogane in the first place stammering something about how things like that should only involve two people. Fai didn't know what was wrong with the kid, but he kept the collar and leash just in case he came to his senses.

In the meantime, Kurogane was walking on a _very_ loose lead and had a slight tendency to wander away from the rest of the group. Fai figured he should count himself lucky he occasionally got dragged along, or else sometimes they never would have gotten Big Puppy back. He would definitely need to work on that if he wanted to pass the Canine Good Citizen test.

_Walking through a crowd._

Fai had to think about that for a while. It was true Kurogane was rather avoidant of people in general and seemed to have a dislike for crowds, but Fai couldn't think of any particular instance where Kurogane had problems walking through a crowd.

Then again, Fai resumed looking at the ceiling, if he had to get through a crowd quickly, Kurogane did have a tendency to roughly push passerby out of his way. As far as Fai was concerned, the circumstances had no bearing on his final decision. Kurogane could not satisfactorily walk through a crowd.

_Sitting and lying down on command and staying in place._

Fai had never tried commanding Kuro-sama to sit or lie down, but Kurogane did follow all his other commands. He may bark about them at first, but he always did them in the end. Fai smiled. Maybe he didn't need the box to do his bidding.

As for staying in place… Fai's smile disappeared. Kuro-myu had the infuriating habit of not staying in one place. Especially when Fai was trying to show him how friendly he was. Kurogane would never sit still for that. It was becoming increasingly more frustrating. And if Fai asked him to wait for him in one place, he was never there when Fai returned. Maybe he could find tips on getting the dog to meet these requirements.

Well, he supposed he could give Kurogane half-credit for this one.

_Coming when called._

Fai plastered a grin on his face and turned to face the puppy in question. "Kuro-wanko, will you come here for a moment please." Kurogane merely glared at him, and his dark, brooking cloud seemed to have gotten bigger.

Fai decided to give Kurogane a second chance by trying a different tactic. After all, dogs were stupid and really only understood their names and intonation.

"Come on, Kurogane, come here!" he said cheerfully. He even tried clapping his hands a few times. "Come here, Kurogane. Whosa good boy?" Kurogane looked at him like had had sprouted a second head and seemed to slink even further away from him.

That was a definite "no" then.

Fai shrugged it off and turned back to the box.

_Reacting appropriately to another dog._

The only other dog they had in the group was Syaoran, and though Kurogane did seem to have taken the boy in as a possible beta male, Fai recalled more moments of Kurogane spazzing at him than reacting appropriately to his would-be successor. Fai wondered who Kurogane thought of as his alpha female. Probably Tomoyo.

Fai quickly discarded that train of thought and resolved only to think of real dogs. They had come across a real dog once, that cute girl in Outo had a dog. Fai didn't think Kurogane had even noticed, which in his mind was still not the appropriate way to respond to another dog.

Another failure.

_Reacting appropriately to distraction._

Fai snuck a look at Kurogane. He appeared to be deep in moody thought, and it would be so easy to give him a distraction. He sniggered as he came up with the perfect one.

He picked up the pencil which for some reason had come flying back past his head and threw it at Kurogane.

"Will you stop that?" Kurogane yelled, clutching at the spot where the pencil had impacted with the side of his head. Fai merely continued to grin at him. "Why the hell did you do that anyway?"

Fai mentally debated which would mess with Kuro-chan's mind the most: a non-response, a lie, the truth, or no response at all. "To distract you." Fai turned back to his list before the other man recovered enough to respond.

So he didn't respond well to distraction because a quick glance over his shoulder showed Kurogane was no longer brooding but was eyeing him warily.

_Calmly endures supervised separation from master._

That was a definite "N-O." He knew for fact Kurogane had not calmly endured the separation from Tomoyo, even though he had Fai there to look after him. He still gave the occasional rant about how he wanted to get back to Japan even though he was being well taken care of. It wasn't like they had ever neglected to feed or exercise him. Granted, he wasn't bathed regularly, but that was entirely Kurogane's fault.

By this time, he could tell the ninja was growing suspicious of his activities. He heard him stand up and start slowly crossing the room. Fai quickly hit the "mission aborted" button on the box and turned around to face Kurogane with a smile. "What are you doing with that thing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the box. Fai could see the dilemma he was facing in his eyes, whether he should distrust the box or the magician operating it more.

"Kuro-wanwan should be ashamed of himself for not meeting the requirements of the Canine Good Citizen test." He slipped lightly out of the chair and away from the ninja's attacking hands.

"Why the hell would I care about that? And what have I told you about calling me by those idiotic names?"

Fai laughed as Kurogane chased him around the room, thinking about how good it was to have a pet, albeit one who was not a good citizen. Maybe he could convince box-san to come with them when they traveled onto the next world. It certainly made a good partner.

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